Original interview transcript from last week in the Bloomington Herald-Times (paywall):
Q: Being gay, do you think it remains difficult to come out in this business, even today?
A: Oh my living God. You just outed me. You outed me in print!
Q: But you talk about being gay in your act. There’s interviews and videos all over YouTube. Aren’t you already “out”?
A: I may have talked about being gay on stage or TV, but that’s just my public persona. Personally, in my real life, I’m in the closet.
Q: So you talk in public about being openly gay, but in private you’re still in the closet?
A: That’s correct. I am openly gay in public, openly closeted in private.
Q: That sounds insane.
A: Some might say heroic.
Q: Why would you go to the trouble of coming out of the closet, just to go back in?
A: To get famous. People in the closet always get big TV and movie deals. So I’m going back in the closet to cash in.
Q: If that works, and you become famous, would you then come out of the closet again later on?
A: Definitely, but only when I’m old and gray, so as not to interfere with any “leading man” roles. That’s how the closet works: You stay in as long as it pays off, then you make a big splash coming out once you’re past your prime. I’m not some idiot: I know how to play the game.
Q: Most people don’t want to talk about being in the closet — what’s it like?
A: I get mad pussy. Mad sick impossible levels of pussy.