(Why do these cities want to abbreviate so differently? NYC hates dots, but L.A. has to have them, lest it be confused with Louisiana. Nice cold open, huh? God fuck me.)

Anywhichway, I’ll soon be hopping back and forth, across venues and time zones, like some kinda less spectacular form of space lightning! Might add or subtract shows — check back here hourly!

NEW YORK:

Tony & Johnny Show @ UCBeast (E. Village)
TONIGHT! 1/24 - 10 p.m.

Big Terrific @ Cameo (Williamsburg)
Wednesday 1/25 - 8:30 p.m.

Nearly Naked Lady Hour @ The Creek and the Cave (Queens)
Saturday 1/28 - 10 p.m.

Sacapuntas @ Bowery Poetry Club
Wednesday 2/1 - 8 p.m.

James Adomian’s Darlin’ Dude Show @ The Creek and the Cave (Queens)
Saturday 2/4 - 10 p.m.
A cavalcade of extravaganzing jamborees!

LOS ANGELES (California’s Gold Tour):

Nick’s Big Talk Show @ UCB Theatre L.A.
Thursday 2/9 - 9:30 p.m.
Thuning it up with the bigshots again.

The Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo
Saturday 2/11 - 8 p.m.
Swine!

Super Serious Show @ Fais Do-Do
Thursday 2/16 - 8 p.m.
Cut my way deep down into Culver City — never to return!

Mapping the Heavens @ UCB Theatre L.A.
Thursday 2/16 - 9:30 p.m.
Starring famous guys Dave Holmes & Rob Delaney!

The Opal Obelisk Awards @ UCB Theatre L.A.
Saturday 2/25 - 10 p.m.
Join hosts David Duchovny and Jeremy Irons for the live gala telecast, celebrating the triumph, the magic, the scandal and the hubris of cinema. And also television. Presented by Messrs. James Adomian & Drew Droege!